


A Late Night Out

by gaudy_teke



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drinking, So done, akaashi is done, dumb boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-16 23:03:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7288222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaudy_teke/pseuds/gaudy_teke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a tumblr thing: “The other day I was walking down town and I passed a group of drunk guys outside a bar who all yell various versions of “Hey girl” and I heard the sober guy trying to calm them down quietly say “Steve no you’re gay.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Late Night Out

Akaashi sighed, rubbing his nose. How had they gotten there again? He remembered Bokuto showing up unexpectedly to his apartment, insisting they do something fun. Apparently ‘fun’ was… well, whatever this was.

“I really don’t think you should be doing this.” Kuroo burped, reaching for his next shot.

“Who’ru tal’n to, ‘Kashhi?” He slurred and Akaashi sighed. Why couldn’t Daichi be here? Or Kenma or Iwaizumi? Specifically, why was he stuck with all the now retired captains (plus some) without anyone sane to help?

“All of you.” He swatted Tendou’s hand away from him as the man tried to ruffle his hair.

“Nah, Kash-chan. I’n na gonna let Ushwaka bea me ever again.” Oikawa swiped for the next shot, missing the glass by several inches. Akaashi sighed again.

“It’s fine, ‘Kaashi! You’re designated driver, so it’s not like we’re gonna get in trouble!” Bokuto shouted, accidentally sweeping several glasses off the table where they shattered upon hitting the ground, the perfect metaphor for Akaashi’s level of done.

“Just because you have a high alcohol tolerance, Bokuto-san, doesn’t mean that you should continue drinking, or that the others should either.” Bokuto grinned, the only visible signs of the many shots he’d taken being the red in his cheeks and slightly unfocused eyes.

“Yeah! Cuz I’m the best! Hey hey hey!” Akaashi sighed again, refraining from rolling his eyes. Of course the only part of that Bokuto heard was the part that could be taken as a complement.

“I’m just saying- You know what? I’m going to stop talking now.” He silently resolved to wait for a while before giving any of them aspirin in the morning. At least as long as it took them to tell him he was right: they shouldn’t have had a shot drinking contest. It would serve them right. Bokuto cheered, grabbing three more shots and downing them one after another. Akaashi rolled his eyes, rummaging through the others bags for more money (he certainly wasn’t spending his money on their decision to get what he suspected could end up being the biggest case of alcohol poisoning the doctors would see all year). Ushijima was the only one who saw him at it, looking down confusedly with unfocused eyes.

“What are you doing?” Akaashi was surprised how clear his voice was.

“Paying for your next shot.” Ushijima nodded distractedly. 

“Yes. Good. Yes.” He drowned another shot and Akaashi rolled his eyes. It only took Oikawa one snarky comment for Ushijima (who he had been counting on as a voice of reason) to agree to the shot contest. Across the table, Karasuno’s newly promoted third years, Tanaka and Noya, downed two more shots each. Akaashi quickly whipped out his camera, taping their victory shouts and snickering as they both fell flat on their faces, the vertigo from standing up too much for them. He was pretty sure he had enough blackmail material of everyone here to be very well off for the next year. 

Eventually, he managed to get everyone to agree to stop, with even Bokuto weaving a little. Akaashi was glad they had parked basically right outside the bar. Everyone was leaning on each other, Bokuto holding a staggering Kuroo, Tanaka and Noya giggling as they tried to walk in a straight line, Ushijima walking with a straight back, but crooked line, Tendou giggling quietly to himself, quietly whispering something about marshmallows (Akaashi had tuned him out after about five minutes), and Oikawa pointing at the sky every few minutes shouting "Look! Aliens! They afer us!” before laughing hysterically. Akaashi sighed, unlocking the car. 

About that time, a cute woman walked past the bar. Just seeing her, Tanaka and Noya fell onto the ground.

“She’s so cute!”

“I can’t handle it!” Akaashi sighed, turning around, and then the others started. Tendou commented (through giggles) that he’d ‘totally tap that’. Kuroo wolf-whistled before his eyes widened.

“Bro. Bo. Bro. Bo-bro. Bro-Bo!” His alcohol addled brain was painful to listen to. Bokuto giggled.

“What. What. What?”

“If I wolf-whistle, does that make me a traitor to the cats?” Bokuto’s eyes widened too and they started blubbering to each other. Akaashi would have considered this funny if he hadn’t been truly and completely done with everything at the moment.

“Cat-calling, Kuroo.” That calmed Kuroo down some. The woman had stopped to look into the window of the shop next to the bar. Just when Akaashi had calmed down Tanaka, Noya, and Kuroo and gotten all three into the car, Oikawa finally saw her.

“Shesh pre’ey!” He giggled. “Amai shtraight yet, A’yashi? Ge’it? Shtraight? Cuz- cuz-“ He bent over laughing. 

“Cuz I’m gay?” Akaashi rolled his eyes, patting him on the shoulder.

“Yes. Hilarious. If you don’t want sit next to Ushijima-san-“ Oikawa unbent himself with difficulty, looking offended.

“I yon’t wanna sit next to Ushi-cow-waka!” Akaashi sighed.

“Yes, I know. Like I was saying, if you don’t want to sit next to him, I suggest getting into the car now.” Oikawa slowly made his way to the car, process hindered by the fact he kept tripping over his feet. He turned to see who was next. Bokuto was leaning against the club wall, trying to look cool. Ushijima, however, was standing stock still, staring intently at the woman. Akaashi decided that was more worrisome.

“Ushijima-san? We’re leaving.” He tugged on Ushijima’s arm. Ushijima didn’t move.

“I like her. I want to take her home.” The woman stiffened. Akaashi half thought she was going to call the cops and get them all arrested. He was never drinking with them again. But first, he had to get out of this situation.

“Okay, but you’re going to Bokuto’s house, not yours, and she can’t come. Now come on. We have to leave.” He pulled on Ushijima’s arm again, but the man still didn’t move. Akaashi sighed.

“Bokuto-san? Will you help me with this?” Bokuto flushed redder, bounding off the wall, only to sway in place for a second. Once the vertigo had worn off, he smiled cheerfully. 

“‘Course, Akaashi! Anything for you!” Akaashi pointed to Ushijima and Bokuto’s grin grew bigger. “You need me to move him cuz I’m the best, right?! Right?!” Akaashi thought. He could a) say yes and lie, b) evade answering, or c) tell the truth and say no. Given that c) could lead to disaster and more time spent in front of this bar (and possibly the loss of progress of the others staying in the car), he chose b).

“I can’t move him.” Bokuto beamed, grabbing Ushijima’s arm and tugging him towards the car.

“Come on, Ushijima! You can’t stare at the pretty lady all night!” Ushijima took one last look before going obediently to the car. Bokuto released him, spinning back to the woman.

“You’re very hot, by the way!” Akaashi blinked at his friend, too shocked to be embarrassed for him or upset. 

“Bokuto-san, don’t. You are literally the gayest person I know, excluding Oikawa.” From the car, Oikawa, hearing his name, helpfully piped up, resting Akaashi’s case.

“Gay gay gay! I’m gay and say I don’t have to pay but I gotta… bae?” Laughter ensued from the car. Bokuto pouted, deflating a little. 

“But everyone else was doing it! I didn’t want to be left out!” Akaashi sighed.

“Let’s… just go home, okay?” Bokuto nodded, eyes brightening, and walked towards the car.

“Okay! I call shotgun!” Akaashi considered telling him Oikawa was already there but decided against it. He’d figure it out.

**Author's Note:**

> I had to. 
> 
> I'm considering adding a second chapter with the after affects and maybe some more concrete Bokuaka. Should I?


End file.
